I remember the first time that I saw an Iron Maiden graphic / album cover. I was transfixed. I was stopped in my tracks. I knew I was in the presence of greatness.

I remember the first time that I heard Iron Maiden. It was so powerful that it made my stomach ache. It was riveting and riotous. It was a revelation. I knew I was in the presence of greatness.

I remember the first time that I saw an Iron Maiden video. It was clever, it was different, it seemed to draw you in and force you to bow your head. I watched that video over and over and over again. I knew I was in the presence of greatness.

I remember the first time that I saw Iron Maiden live. Every step - every sound - every moment was bathed in excellence and a unity of spirit. It was probably the first time that I felt the presence of the metal community, and it was a feeling that I grew hungry for. Greedy for it... That group of people had gathered to celebrate the epic qualities of the one and only Iron Maiden... And, yes - I knew I was in the presence of greatness.

Up the Irons - Hail Maiden!

I'm married to jewelp.

I'm the luckiest guy in the world, based LARGELY on the fact that I am lucky enough to have her as my partner, my friend, my sounding board... My salvation.

When I look at who I am - When I look at how happy I am - When I look at the wonderful things I have in my life... I'm looking at jewelp...

Today she has a birthday. Today is the day that I celebrate her, and all of the things that she is.

Often times I try to say large and grandiose things - sweeping statements that are intended to paint an elaborate picture... But I'm going to keep this one simple and direct - honest and heartfelt.

I love you Jewel. Happy Birthday.

Yeah, it's a shameless plug, but you gotta do what ya gotta do.

Trying to get a little synergy with the various different places where I place my voice.

Follow, and I'll follow you back.

8 years ago I worried... I waited... I stood in wonder.

I worried as all sorts of things delayed the arrival of my little one. jewelp had gone late, and had to be induced - and all of that was just going nowhere. It was maddening and everything that seemed to be going "off plan" just raised my anxiety levels.

I waited all day - it seemed to last forever.I knew that it would all be alright. I knew it. I felt certain that the day would end well, and I could feel the last few moments of my previous priorities and perspectives were slipping away. I waited to take the next step, and then I waited some more. I waited next to jewelp while the C-section happened, staring into her eyes and feeling the warmth of hope that we both clung to. I waited as they told me that the baby was out, and that it was a boy. I waited for what seemed like an eternity to hear that first cry. I waited and waited - and then it was there. The most perfect little cry, it filled the room and it filled my heart. I'll never forget that feeling. Never.

I held him. I took him out of the room, and introduced him to his family. I watched as people looked on him with love. I watched as the emotions washed over them, elation, adoration, pride, and curiosity... There were so many questions - there still are. He has never stopped giving me a sense of wonder. He is a marvel of intricacies and riddles - He is a full time education in who I am, and who I want to be.

There's a line in the movie, Excalibur... It's perfect:

"I did not know how empty was my soul, until it was filled."

I'm the luckiest man alive.

Happy birthday, little man. Thank you for coming into my world and making it so much brighter.

You are my Son. You are my Sun.

I want to take a moment to talk about two very good friends of mine...

One is an LJ user, and the other is not -

One is a male, and the other is not -

Both are quiet observers of the world, they watch it do what it's doing, they get it, they make sense of it, and then they move on...

Gary Collins is a friend that I met in college. Today is his birthday. Gary was the Metal Director before me, and a lot of what I learned about that position - the people, the trends, the politics... A lot of that knowledge came to me from the voice of Gary Collins. He had been given insight and input from those before him, and he placed a value on continuing that tradition. Gary and I have different tastes in Metal, but we have some common ground that is TRULY great stuff. Nobody else geeks out over the complexities of Mind Over Four with me like gary does... Nobody else has that smile and bounce when a band gets that PERFECT thrash rhythm going.

Gary has also been a constant friend... Though we don't see much of each other anymore, I know that if I needed a steady voice and a good perspective - I could go to him and he would listen - He may not have the answer, but he wouldn't pretend that he did. And that is the greatness of Gary.

Cheers to you, sir. This day I celebrate you, and your influence in my life!

The second person is a young lady that I have known for almost 2 decades. Imagine that... cranberriez, near and dear to both my wife and I... So important to both of us through the years. Smarter than I could hope to be, insightful and warm. The heart of a poet - a poet that wants nothing more than to bring verse and rhyme out of steel and stone... There's no art form that I can think of that I wouldn't want to share with her.

cranberriez has seen me at my best, and my worst. She has accepted me, no matter what sort of silliness I was caught up in, or how seriously I was taking myself. She was my partner in the quest for Hot & Sour Soup when that mean nourished my soul more than my stomach... She was kind enough to tolerate the whining when jewelp was away, and I was feeling so very out of touch with reality...

cranberriez makes me want to achieve things. She makes me want to live up the the kindness and compassion that the has shown me, reflected in her eyes and actions... She inspires me to read unusual texts to my boy so that he can have the opportunity to look quizzically at the world around him, the way that his Aunt Erica does..

I had a cup of tea this morning, and as I breathed in the aroma - I spent those moments hoping that cranberriez knows how great she is, and how much she has impacted my life. Happy birthday Bright Eyes...

I miss playing Magic with a group of friends at least once a week.

I miss discovering new music simply based on album cover art, name of band, and the label they wee signed to.

I miss working with Photoshop all the time, even if it was just for me.

I miss seeing websites that had the "Under Construction" gifs / badges on them.

I miss my friends - I just never see them anymore.

I miss finding a video game that could cause me to lose track of time, callout of work, and forget to eat.

I miss being able to drink copious amounts of tea.

I miss being involved in theater / acting / directing.

I miss being creative in my own life -not just at work.

I miss being able to spend real time with jewelp.

I miss the period of time when I had to figure out what was going to be next: A tattoo, or a piercing?

I miss being at the radio station, and feeling that energy.

I miss roleplaying.

I miss Crystal Pepsi - I liked that stuff...

I miss going to parties.

I miss writing poetry - it was never very good, but it always filled some void / need.

I have three "takers" in this little meme... And I'm looking forward to getting to the task of making something for the 3 of you that opted in...

I'm excited about being creative and trying to put a little of myself into each of the projects.

I will need snail-mail addresses for each of you so that I can get you goods.

if you don't want to post them - and who could blame you? - send them to my e-mail address jpatsfield @ m a c . c o m

alrighty?

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me. My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
- No guarantees that you will like what I make.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done sometime this year.
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story, a CD, something blinky or shiny. I may draw or sculpt something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to repost. We can all make stuff!!

oh...

i never saw this when i was young but WOW...

WOW.

So on Saturday there was a blur of videos that really took my breath away.

The Macintosh turned 25 years old on January 24th, 2009. and what an odd 25 years it has been. What will the personal computer / consumer electronics industry look like in the next 25 years?

It's been an amazing ride, and I believe that they best is yet to come.



Happy birthday, Macintosh!

i've not posted in far too long.

winter took a toll, as did a prolonged visit from my family.

it was good, but it broke up my patterns- the timeline for what i do and how i do it.

life is getting back to "normal" now - with a few nice surprises, of course...

reconnected with some voices from the past.

and now a link that brings me great joy:

Faith in Greatness

and i'm out.

Normally I suck at remembering the birthdays of my friends - family - everybody...

But I'm gonna squeak in under the wire, and manage to hit this one on time.

I remember selling raffle tickets like a madman. Me and Jobe just going SICK and selling them to people who just wanted us to leave them alone. We had been charged by a man that we had recently met, and we weren't going to let him down.

I remember asking Jim for help with a flyer for my show. he took me next door to the anchor and put together a SICK assed flyer that was pure metal. It was amazing. Then he closed it out, and did not save it. When I looked at him with shock and horror, he calmly said, "You saw me do it, now you know how to do it. Don't tie up this computer for too long, they get touchy." - And from there I learned. From there I went on to keep on learning. Today I'm the one that people come to for help, and I always think of that day...

I remember sitting in the window of the studio, watching Heartless spin. Watching it all come together, and he was taking notes in between the conversation, the album selections, and the breaks. I remember looking over the notes and seeing thoughts on how one track had fit very smoothly into another, bits of poetry, and random "to do" lists for the station.

I remember waiting for the Entertainment section of the Anchor and wondering how many of the references I would be able to get. Struggling to keep up...

I remember when I was elected GM, and he let me struggle - he could have stuck his hand up my back, and I would have been a puppet - but he let me struggle, make my mistakes, make my way. When I came to him for REAL help - he was there.

I don't use the word lightly, but heartlessjim has been a Mentor for me. Today was the anniversary of his birth.

Thanks for everything Jim. Because of you, I am a better man.